Monday, December 7, 2009

' The Timing My Dear'*

"Ten years ago I responded to letters within a couple of weeks and kept my correspondents happy. Five years ago I faxed a response in a couple of days and they seemed content. Now they want email responses the same day and berate me for not using instant messaging or a mobile phone." - Phillip Yancey, 'Prayer'

I used to be really good about letter writing. When I was in AmeriCorps* five years ago that was how I mostly kept in touch with people. I had an e-mail account but I was adamant about handwritten letters. I remember having an argument with a fellow Corps member about the importance of handwritten letters. My 'conclusive evidence' involved bringing down a shoebox full of correspondence from loved ones at home. I have letters from most phases of my life and it's a happy thing. The last couple of years though, that habit has really dwindled and sputtered.

I've been staring at this screen for too long today. I come to it as if it's a Magic Eight Ball or something. As if I stare long enough it will unlock the key to what my future holds. While I concede that it is a helpful tool, it doesn't work the way this behavior would make it seem.

Yesterday I visited a church nearby. I truly miss my church in Indiana. Rachel Hendricks handed me a bulletin and when I looked at the sermon title it brought a smile to my face. 'Wet Feet Faith'. For anyone unaware, my nickname is 'Feet' so the double sight of my name felt like a 'pay attention. I love you' from my heavenly Father. The sermon was about stepping out in faith to do the seemingly impossible that we're called to.

For myself I wonder lately if that's an intensive Acting school. One of the things that stuck out to me most was how stepping out in faith towards God's call is stepping and doesn't mean you are going to get there tomorrow. Actually I guess there isn't really a 'there' anyway. It's a journey and the call isn't the end. That to say, when I wonder if God is calling me to formal training as an actress I often feel like it has to happen TOMORROW and I get discouraged. It's hard to remember one step at a time.

The pastor was specifically referring to the recent acquisition of a building for their church. They've been meeting as a church for eight years and began the process of looking for a building maybe three years ago. It's been 369 days since they started the offers on their new building which they just closed on. The first step takes an initial decision of this moment in time but there are many steps after that. And God is faithful in each of them. Often they don't lead where we expect or the destination looks much different than we'd thought. But God is faithful. We think in destinations but the destination isn't the point.

The church went through a vocal summary of what has been included in their history as a church family following each paragraph by saying 'He has been faithful' as a congregation. Like a Psalm. I liked that. Rocks of remembrance. I'd like to do that with my own journey. Because He has been. And He is. And I look forward to seeing how He will be.

I could really use your prayers for direction in this waiting time. I'm at the Burrow right now enjoying some time with my family and trying not to go batty not knowing what's next. On Saturday I leave for one of my dearest friends weddings. She's a good letter writer. :smile: That's how we first met actually. She's like my little sister and I'm glad I'll get to spend time with her before her big day. Then it's back home for Christmas. My brother Dev may be making a big move in February (prayers there too please) and so I'm thinking I'd like to be around here for the next couple of months. That's what I've got for now. :smile: I'm praying for clarity in direction, for where to be, for if I should pursue Acting school and if so how and where. Mostly I'm praying for Where. Thanks for reading. Please let me know how I can pray for you too.
I'd say Happy Christmas but hopefully it won't be that long between blogs this time. ;)

*blog title stolen from an Devan/Greg original