Breaks

December 24th~2012

"Any special requests for Christmas? I'm guessing travelable?" read a text from my Mom a couple of weeks ago. In truth my answer was that all I wanted for Christmas was my a-fixed-up-tooth but I decided not to send a worrying response.
During an already emotionally down week I'd bit down wrong & felt a tooth give way and crack. The insurance I'm so happy to be getting soon would kick in in a month, but not sooner. So a cracked tooth was scary and not something I particularly wanted to deal with,  but there it was.

 This particular problem tooth had been giving me troubles since the year before. As an uninsured, acting student with a barely part time job in NYC, I went to a school of dentistry hoping for a quickish fix. Instead, after a long time and painful xrays that I needed much more work than I wanted or could afford or had to do with the immediate problem. I'd dealt with it since that time looking forward to when I could actually get the problem solved well.

 And now this. Being so close to insurance and having the break was frustrating. The thought of dealing with a break uninsured was emotionally obnoxious and scary. Yet there was a feeling of resignation too. That this or worse hadn't already happened was a remarkable provision and so was the fact that there was no real pain in loosing half a tooth.

 An email to my church community group leaders, David and Mary Bright, resulted in lots of prayers and a referral to their family dentist. Quick texts to co-workers meant a last minute shift switch that I was most grateful for and enabled me to make an appointment. The lack of pain was encouraging and I hoped and prayed that the dentist would be gracious and just do the bare minimum to keep that tooth healthy until it could be properly taken care of.

 My friend Chiara gave me a ride two days later and conversation with her encouraged me. A break of another kind had made the week before the cracked tooth an emotionally difficult one. Her words and the time with her were encouraging and helpful and I felt calmer when we arrived at the dentist. Prayers for provision and graciousness were abundantly answered and I left the dentists office beyond calm, I left joyful.
Considering this was an initial appointment I had anticipated being rescheduled for a later point to actually get down to business. Instead, to my surprise, a Novocaine shot and less than an hour later this capable dentist had my tooth entirely taken care of. Even better was learning that dentistry school had been wrong in saying a root canal and crown were necessary. And EVEN better the bill for being made all better was the same I'd paid for the consultation last year that had resulted in this apparently fictional burden. All this made my weird Novocaine smile even more lopsided as my grin grew.

 Breaks, of all kinds, suck. They're scary and no fun. But sometimes God uses them to get our attention and bring a wholeness or healing in a way we didn't expect. If my tooth hadn't cracked before I had insurance I would have chosen a dentist close by and not gone to such a helpful one further away. And would have missed the encouraging conversation with my friend.
 I would have felt in control but I'm not at all sure the provision would have been nearly like this.

 I'm not saying anything new here, I realize that, but though the principle may seem obvious, for me it's easy to forget the obvious. Sometimes the obvious thing eludes me exactly when I need it most.  So when the Lord lets me experience 'the obvious' in my own story and not just as a truth or principle, it's so good.  One of my favorite things is that while this recent provision itself was beautiful to experience it didn't stop there. God used it as a picture for an area of my life where it was more applicable, more necessary to remember, but less tangible to see.

 ~

Yesterday I found the seat saved for me by my friend Abbey in the Centrum Theatre where we go to church and happily sang with her and the rest of the congregation that hadn't yet gone away for the holidays. It occurred to me as we stood worshiping our Savior that while my initial reason for moving to Cleveland hadn't worked out that there were still beautiful things about being here for which I was grateful. And worshiping and learning and growing with the people at Gateway Heights church is high on that list. I don't plan to stay in Cleveland for very, very long and in many ways that makes my life feel very patchworky. However, God is sovereign and He uses all things to shape and place us. He uses all things to His glory and for the good of those who love Him. Lately I'm reminded of this and in this, in Him, there is peace.

' Praise the Lord for He is good, His love endures forever. '