AmeriCorps*NCCC

I've been thinking a lot the past couple of days about story in regard to living out your life. This has been inspired but Don Miller's new book and by hearing him speak on the subject this week. I love story and so reading his ideas on applying the elements of story to how you live your life was very appealing to me. And finishing up the book this evening I'm reminded of a story I got to be a part of five years ago.

Tonight, in Boston, four of my team mates from AmeriCorps*NCCC are gathering together for our fifth year reunion. Don talks in his book about how conflict and memorable scenes are necessary to a great story. The AmeriPlayers most certainly had both. Our scenes took place all across the country, from Denver to DC, planting gardens, corralling children, deconstructing houses, moving 3 tons of rock 3 times (that is not an exaggeration, trying not to go postal in cubicles doing inane work during hurricane season, performing in a variety of locations, swimming in our underwear, oh my goodness the list could go on. And we certainly had our conflict, without which I can attest to what Mr Miller says in his book, we would not have grown as close as we did, would not have had a great story. And now we talk about those conflicts at our reunions as if they're unattached to us.

I miss them today and I'm sad I'm not there. But I'm grateful that we've kept in touch, grateful for the times we've had, glad that I got to see some of them last weekend. We met up in DC to see Mel's (our teamleader)draft performance of her new play. Whenever we meet up again we slip into our rhythm right away, as though however much time hasn't passed. We've integrated new parts into our lives, of course, but Jeanna is Jeanna and asks Jeanna questions in a Jeanna way and so it goes with each of us. I love it. After the play and the party we went to Baltimore and stayed up until 5 in the morning talking about life now and life then and other peoples lives and life in between. I never stay up that late but I truly enjoyed it. I'm glad to be part of that story.

And so those of you in Boston, I hope you have a beautiful time this weekend. And I hope that next year we can all make it. I love you each,
Your Feet

New Route

Well the weekend in Charlottesville was wonderful and I had a lovely time visiting with my good friend Bonnie. The audition was a lot of fun and I think that it went well. I'll know about what happens next by Thanksgiving.

As for DC, I decided on Tuesday to go with the Realtor's original decision and not move to the city. I'm more than okay with this and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next. It does put me back in that category of not knowing what next steps are but as Jennifer Jackson so encouragingly put it, "God knows." She's the lady I knew at the house in DC and I am so grateful for her kindness and understanding.

Thank you so much for your prayers and care. If you think of it please pray that the girls will find a roommate soon and also that new doors will open up for me. I do plan to still move from South Riding and hope to crash at home for a bit while pursuing new possibilities. (I've yet to ask my Mom about this so, uh, I hope that's okay. * ;) )

This update is a little artless but I wanted to at least let people know what was going on. Thanks again!

* I did check with Mom before posting. ;) Thanks Mom!

Next Steps Road Block. Detour or New Destination?

Hello All~
In an effort to not push numerous notes and messages of updates on unsuspecting readers I'm going to attempt to keep things up here so that whoever wishes to come see can and the rest won't have an inundation of 'Faith news'. It's changing rapidly lately so the notes keep coming.

Most of you know that I've been in the process of preparing to move to DC mid-October. The ladies of the rowhouse invited me to take their soon to be married rommies place and I've been quite excited about it. This morning I received an e-mail from the real estate office saying that my application could not go further because I didn't have sufficient income.

I'm working as a waitress at a newly opened restaurant so we're gaining business as we go and weekdays are slow. However due to the help of my Aunt Donna and Uncle Dave letting me stay with them (they feed me too!) I haven't had very many expenses and have been able to save. And the plan was to get a waitressing job at a high traffic (seems they all are) restaurant in DC once I moved.

I'm not ready to simply throw in the towel and intend to ask them if there's anything else I can do. However if this is a closed door, I'm willing to accept that too and God's timing has been so good in this whole process (who am I kidding, it always is. But this time it seems visible in the short term not just looking back) that I know whatever happens is for a reason. He is so good and He always provides for me.

So I could use prayers that the right doors will be open and others firmly shut. I think it's time for a new step whether or not this is it. And prayers that whatever the outcome is the girls will find a room mate soon.

It's interesting that I found out today. Originally tomorrow was the move-in date but it was extended to mid-Oct which was good at the time and even better now. There have been blessings in the date change, one being that after it did I found out that I've been invited to auditions at the American Shakespeare Center tomorrow. I get to visit dear friends from Jackson for the weekend and audition for a company that I really want to work for. God is so good! And He is faithful. I'm excited to see where things lead though it may not look like I thought it would.

Thanks for reading! have a lovely fall day and I'll try to be back soon.
Faith

Cephus and Wiggins

I didn't have to go into work until 5:00 yesterday and it was lovely to have a full afternoon and still get to work a good shift. Before going in I thought "Lord, it would be nice to see a familiar face tonight, someone that I love." So having thought this my joy was double when I look across the restaurant to see my pretty Aunt Jen. I caught her up in a hug and had to keep from crying I was so happy. With her were my Uncle Danny, their friend Donnie and (talk about double joys)my handsome darling twin cousins, Chuck and Jacob or Cephus and Wiggins as we like to call them.

I hadn't seen them since Easter and they have grown so much! I'm certain that I broke some codes of professional conduct and was definitly distracted but no one complained, including my boss who was out on the floor and saw me covering their big heads and beautiful faces in kisses. Such good babies! I thought they were asleep in their double stroller when they came in but no, they were just calmly sitting and looking around. They didn't cry or verbally fuss at all, and they were so happy.
I'm in love.

Take Me Home Down Country Roads...

It's September and the nights are getting cooler. I love that. Last weekend I got to go visit my family. The Burrow on the mountain, by the river and in the woods was a welcome relief from Kamazotz, land of sameness. Don't get your mental pictures skewed though, as I was trying to write a friend about the delights of sitting outside on a perfect cool morning my nerves were being shot everytime Sam came in slamming the door and clapping his hands. It isn't meant to perfect down here.

Being in a place where I can actually visit home is certainly nice. I'm grateful to my aunt and uncle for allowing me to use their house as a launching pad for whatever comes next. (Updates to come. I finally sent my headshot and resume to Blackfriar's!)I like my job at Vintage 51 and I like the people that I work with. They are kind to me and I'm able to get rides to and from work.

The guys in the kitchen like that I'm a 'West Virginia girl'. Kitchen Steve learned this becuase the day I went back I was surprisingly emotional, I suppose about the transition from trees to suburbia in its scariest form. I didn't know that the kitchen was full of guys from the mountains too and apparently he told them all I was a mountain girl. Cole started singing about the Shenandoah river and he and Steve talked about land they have up in the mountains. It's kind of comforting in the middle of this polished Pleasantville to have these guys who understand what I miss.

At the restaurant we serve a lot of local products. Our meat all comes from a farm in Purcellville where the animals are grass fed and pasture rotated. You can taste the difference and we make the best burger I've ever had. Our cheese fondue rocks too and so do our french fries, potato salad, and spicy mussels. Not neccesarily in that order. You should come see me and eat some of our food. We have good beer too. And as of today a cappucino machine.

And now my brain is blanking. For three days I'd been off of sugar again and I also wasn't watching tv. I could hear my thoughts again and my head was clearing, and energy was returning. But today began with the Fractured Prune and in that regard has been downhill sense. But that's okay. There's tomorrow.

Oh and all that about Sam slamming doors being said, he helped me make my bed that night in that caring way he has. I think I'll keep him.

Paper Cranes

It's three in the morning. I hate being up this late. It means the next few days, maybe even the week, feels off. But insomnia is a catching thing it seems, here at the Burrow and in Transistional phases I usually have much on the brain in the way of potential plans so it can be difficult to shut them off.

Mom and I took Dev (I used to have psuedonyms on here, what were they anyway?) to his new apartment on Tuesday. We didn't expect to stay overnight but amidst a day of various adventures (which he already wrote about and I'll post because he covered it well.) that's what wound up happening and I was glad for it. As he arranged his room with his belongings he made a comment about it being nice to know where everything went after being in a transitional mindset for so many months. How nice it was to be settled. I said yes, that I wanted that too and he laughed at me. "No you don't." he said practically in a guffaw.

And I know what he means, and he's right. I don't neccesarily want to be in one single place for the rest of my life yet. I like to travel about and see people and check out new places. (However I am getting to a point where I'd like to know where to anchor at least. That doesn't mean I have to stay there consistently but it would be good to have a base.) But what I meant was I would like to know where to hang my cranes.

For my twenty first birthday I received one of my all time favorite gifts, a handmade mobile of paper cranes from my beautiful friend Erika. Everywhere I've been since then they've been wrapped up, carefully packed (which is difficult I must say), untangled and hung by or above my bed. They've been packed away in my luggage since the end of May. It's nice to visit my family here at the Burrow, but it isn't where I can hang my cranes. With Devan moved out the little boys get their own rooms now & I'm excited to see them hang their cranes, as it were, making up their own corners of the world and arranging for their space as they please.

And I look forward to seeing where my next corner is too.

I'd love to hear about your corner. What is your version of a paper crane mobile? What would you take into a new space that makes it 'home', makes it yours?

Splashes

I wonder that it's so hard to get yourself back into writing a post after long absences. It isn't as though nothing has happened in my life. I think a good deal of it has to do with my own perfectionism. "Well if I can't write out everything I've done and learned this year in one eloquent go then why start at all?" But that's plain silly and if I wait til that happens well I'll near have forgotten the bits of this year. So here comes a plunge if for no other reason than to get back in the water again.

I'm 'in transition' again. I've been in this place so many times and, as is the case now, it usually involves crashing at The Burrow (home) and mooching off of my gracious parents until the next door presents itself. Or gets found through frantic searching. I've seen God's provision so many times that perhaps this go round is less anxious but still there's that concern that comes with uncertainty, the desire to control things, and the worry that I'm missing something or not taking a right step.

I've learned a lot about worry though.

In Bible study at MasterWorks we talked about how worry is one of the few socially acceptable sins. Once when I told a good friend that I hated how much I worry he said I didn't hate it or I wouldn't do it. He said I was addicted to it. I irked that he was probably right. Worry makes you feel like you're doing something but really it doesn't help anything and it indicates a lack of trust. At the same time in my life that my friend pointed this out my professor made a statement that also revoloutionized my thinking on this subject. It was the first time I saw that worry is indeed a sin and he said we're commanded not to do it. We don't have to worry. How lovely. How difficult.

I'm such a Martha. She gets caught up in being busy. When she complains to Jesus that her sister Mary isn't helping her with all that needs done He tells her that only one thing is needed and that Mary has chosen it and it won't be taken from her. Mary chose to be with Jesus. To sit at His feet and be present with Him. Luke 10:38-42

This morning I read in John where Jesus says "The work of God is this: to believe in the one He has sent." John 6:29

I'm really grateful for how gentle and loving Jesus is with Martha. She doesn't have it all right, she's fighting for control, but still He loves her and wants to teach her. God is teaching me too. He's teaching me about worry, about fear, about peace. I'm growing in these things. I'm not there yet but I can really see growth. And with God I don't think it's about being 'there'. For me, perfectionist, results driven me, I get in my head that it's about being 'there'. But with God I believe it's about relationship. He wants to take the time. He wants me to spend time with Him, wherever I'm at in my walk. With Him it's about process, and more than that, simply being with Him. I don't always get that, in fact most of the time I don't, but I'm really grateful for it. He is good. He loves me. He loves you too. And He fills me with hope.