LEX

Hullo again!

As some of you may already know I am now back at home after MWF (a wonderful 6 weeks of hard work and good fellowship) and am in a two week countdown for my new job for which I am, let's just say, stoked! I am going to be working as a steward for Lindblad Expeditions. Though I've been telling people that I'm going to be working on a cruise ship, it isn't quite accurate so I thought I'd tell a bit about the differences.
Lindblad is partnered with National Geopgraphic and they are better described as eco-tourism than luxury cruises. LEX ships are smaller and their trips are focused on exploring the natural world. LEX ships stop several times within an excursion to explore an area through hiking, snorkeling, kayaking and such. They travel with a team of Naturalists, Historians, Geologists and Scientists who interact with guests whether through a lecture or discussion or at a meal. There are Zodiacs, kayaks and underwater cameras on board and the schedule is flexible so that if something extraordinary happens they don't have to rush off to the next destination and miss it.
What will I be doing? Working my butt off! :) Seriously though- I'll be working 12 hour days 7-10 days at a time as a Steward which is in the hospitality branch and means I'll be prepping the dining room, serving food, cleaning rooms, turning down beds, that kind of thing.
And so, in short, that is what I'm looking forward to next. It's a six month contract so I'll be gone from August to February. I will have limited computer access but will be able to receive letters (no packages though. Just flat mail.) We begin in Alaska, and I'll work for a few weeks with my AmeriCorps teammate Jordan! In the fall I believe we'll be on the Snake River in Oregon and for winter we'll go to California and Mexico.
I'm so excited for this adventure & would very much appreciate your prayers! The next two weeks I'll try to update a bit over here in blog-dom before I unplug for a while. Thanks for reading!

~Here is a video about the work that I'll be doing ~

THIS is the day...

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

It is so good to be at the Doric in Winona Lake and visiting with the girls here. Last night Joy and I stayed up late in her room just talking. We ranged from doctrine and theology to gin and tonic. A good portion of our conversation, and several of the wonderful girl conversations I've had here, had to do with what we want to do with our lives, what we struggle with, a desire for sharing life with a specific someone, not wanting to be alone, frustrations that come with all of this.

I've been thinking lately about not wanting to be alone. Yet last night after talks of guys, and marriage, and kids, and careers, my gin/tonic/cran juice was wearing off and I wasn't sleepy anymore, though it was late so Joy pulled out this children's book of kooky lullabies and sang to me.

"Go to sleep, my zoodle,
my flibbety-fitsy foo.
Go to sleep, sweet noodle.
It's time to say, "Ah-choo.

The chickens in the bathtub,
the closet full of sheep,
the sneakers in the freezer
are all drifting off to sleep..."

As Joy sang this delightful nonsense from her bed to mine I was full of the happiness of THAT moment in time, not just that minute, or this day, but this season. This 'now'. I remembered that one day we probably will be wives and mothers and life will be very different. We may keep in touch but there probably won't be across the country sleepovers, drop everything travels, the same kind of questions and possibilities for what's next. This time will be missed and so should not be missed out on the first time around.

That isn't to say that the next season won't be beautiful, because I believe it will be, in a different way. It isn't to say that this season is full of all freedom and the hoped for future all constraint and burden. Each is beautiful in it's own time (Eccl 3:11) and each has different costs, responsibilities and delights. I believe it's okay to have desires for the next season, to look forward to it and I even think that talking about and desiring those things is part of the season now. As long as the desire for what's ahead doesn't steal from what's present.

"Life is the messy bits" says Vanessa Redgrave's character in 'Letters to Juliet'

THIS is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Hallelujah for the Psalms!

Thank the Lord for the Psalms! Today I started on 'The Search for Significance' workbook in my quiet times. 'The Search for Significance' is a great book that helps you identify the lies we so often believe about ourselves and learn to replace them with the truth of God's Word. It's awesome and has helped me a great deal in renewing my mind and beginning to know my worth is founded in Christ not my performance or others approval. I'm looking forward to going deeper into the teachings and this morning part of beginning the workbook was to reread the first chapter which is about honesty with ourselves and God.

The author of the book, Robert S. McGee shared how he used to get caught in the belief that as Christians we 'should exude an attitude of happiness and contentment in all things'. This meant he brushed away hurtful situations that 'didn't matter' and wasn't honest about them. Really they did matter, even if they were small. Small things left unchecked can often become big things. A friend helped him start becoming more honest with himself and God. "Realizing I was hurt because my idea was rejected has enabled me to be honest with the Lord about my feelings and begin working through them."

What I love most about this chapter though, and what I wanted to share here, was what Mr. McGee shares about the Psalms.

"...the Scriptures tell us that God does not want us to be superficial- in our relationship with Him, with others, or in our own lives. David wrote, 'Surely You desire truth in the inner parts; You teach me wisdom in the inmost place.' Psalm 51:6
The Lord desires truth and honesty at the deepest level, and wants us to experience His love, forgiveness and power in all areas of our lives.

The Psalms give us tremendous insight about what it means to be honest with the Lord. David and other psalmists wrote and spoke honestly about the full range of their responses to situations. For example, David expressed his anger with the Lord because he felt abandoned by Him:

I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?
Ps 42:9-10

At times David was very angry with others, and expressed that anger to the Lord in terms that reveal the depth of his feelings:

Break the teeth in their mouths, O God; tear out, O Lord, the fangs of the lions!
Let them vanish like water that flows away; when they draw the bow, let their arrows be blunted
Like a slug melting away as it moves along, like a stillborn child, may they not see the sun.
Before your pots can feel the heat of thorns-whether they be green or dry- the wicked will be swept away.
Ps 58:6-9

David wrote of his despair about difficult situations:

My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death assail me.
Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.
Ps 55:4-5

And he communicated his despair to the Lord:

Why do you hide your face and forget our misery and oppression?
We are brought down to the dust; our bodies cling to the ground.
Ps44:24-25

Sometimes he was confused:

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?
Ps 13:1-2

Sometimes, David communicated his love for the Lord:

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
Ps 42:1-2

At times David trusted in the Lord:

The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.
Ps 27:1-3

At other times, he was filled with praise for God:

I will exalt You, my God the King; I will praise Your name for ever and ever.
Every day I will praise You and extol Your name for ever and ever.
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom.
Ps 145:1-3

These passages demonstrate that God, who spoke of David as a man after His own heart, wants us to be open and honest with Him about all of our emotions, not just the pleasant ones.
Experiencing (God's) love does not mean that all of our thoughts, emotions, and behvaiours will be pleasant and pure. It means that we can be real, feeling pain and joy, love and anger, confidence and confusion."

So today I'm thankful for such a range of emotions, thoughts, humanness shown in the Psalms and reminding me that it is not just okay, but desirable to be honest with my heavenly Father.
I hope that this is a blessing to you as well. May your day be filled with His love and grace and may you be honest with our great God who already knows where you're at.

I got to see two dear friends this week and it was delightful. On Monday I found myself wondering at work if my friend Corey was in town after her graduation and if so how I would like to see her. That night I get home and my cell phone give that happy 'somebody loves me!' text ding. It was Corey saying she was in town until Sunday and could we get together! So we met at one of my favourite cafes in Harpers Ferry for lunch the next day. She drove an hour and a half to see me. :) We hugged tight- Corey gives wonderful hugs- and the cafe lady thought we were oh so cute because we were so glad to see each other. We talked about life and how much it had changed in just the two months since I'd last seen her. We talked about theatre, our passion for it and vision for the future. About Belhaven friends and how quickly four years have passed. It was so good.

Then yesterday another sister, Annaka, came to town. She was coming from Ohio for a wedding in Maryland and came a little further to see me and her 48th state. I lived with Annaka in Indiana last year. We also caught up and my Mom invited her to stay the night before having to head to Maryland so she met my family and stayed at the Burrow. It feels so cozy there lately and looks all rainforesty in the backyard with the summer green coming on the trees. It was good to show her my home, take her to Harpers Ferry, have a girls night where we stayed up til 1:30 catching up and reminiscing.

These women, along with so many other dear friends and family, not only remind me of beautiful memories and good, growing times, but of who I am and what I love to do. We can reminisce about the old, shake our heads at how fast time goes (my brother who is supposed to be 5 turned 15 today!) but it doesn't stop there. We can also listen to what's happened since, and encourage in what's ahead. I'm so grateful for that.

Ducks and Cranes

Well. Here we are again. My paper cranes aren't moving after all. I'm back at 'what's next?' with the temptation to dive in and figure it out though I still need time to re-evaluate. I feel redundant. But that seems slightly silly because it's been a happening four months. The happening didn't go the way I'd planned, but it doesn't mean it wasn't an adventure or a learning/growing experience. It doesn't mean it wasn't a good experience either. Because it was.

But I do feel redundant. I'm back again to the same questions of 'what' & 'where'. Not to mention 'how'. Right now 'what' is a nap, 'where' is Sam's top bunk, and 'how' is getting off of this smallish update and lying down. :smile: And I suppose one moment at a time is a good way to take it. I just don't do well that way. I like many moments all lined up. But ducks don't like to stay in a row all the time. So happy napping for now. :)

"Let me 'splain. No there is too much. Let me sum up."*

Hullo again! I haven't been here in a while and much has happened this new year. Yesterday I was in the kitchen with Mom and Luke (ummmm, not my little brother) and I said
"I really need to blog soon. I haven't updated at all on anything that's been happening."
To which my Mom replied,
"We know."
Apparently she doesn't know how to answer the question 'so what is Faith up to now?' because of it and so quite a bit of updating is in order as well as an introduction...

It seems my paper cranes and I have found our new place to land and this time it's halfway across the world. The above mentioned Luke, the one who isn't my brother but was brought to my family via other brother Devan, is a missionary to China. He teaches English to kindergarten and primary school children and began winning Devan over to the idea of doing the same. Dev brought him home for Thanksgiving where he began winning me over in more ways than one. After much prayer and seeking on both our parts we are pursuing relationship with one another and in May we are going, with paper cranes, to China.

Currently we're both in West Virginia enjoying the community here, preparing for China, learning about one another, and experiencing the whirlwind of this adventure that God has us on. Luke moved to the area from Lynchburg in February and is renting a room at a friend's house. At the time we didn't know that we were headed to China in the spring. He was willing to stay in the states for a couple of years, or longer, if I wanted/needed to pursue further training as an actress. In February we met with his boss who happened to be in the states for an holiday. He shared his vision with us and I saw that though I knew what passions God has laid on my heart I didn't have a particular "where" when it came to pursuing them. Luke did. Luke knows where his heart and ministry are and I knew I wanted to be near him as we move forward to see if God is calling us to marriage. So I chose China.

God is so good and He is faithful. As we step forward in this adventure we have already encountered so much. God has provided each of us (Devan is part of this adventure as well though he hasn't entirely determined if he's coming or not.) with jobs, and jobs that we enjoy! (The boys have a great story about that actually. Come by Jumpin Java and I'll tell you about it while I make your mocha.) We have met with challenges that are shaping, revealing, sharpening, and growing us. We continually see prayers being answered and wait in expectation for others to unfold. It is exciting and it has been a whirlwind. I laugh to think of how I always thought that being in God's timing meant a lot of waiting. Which it often does, but I never realized until now that sometimes it means things happen very quickly as well.

So as you can see there is much to cover. This is a sum-up and as we prepare for the trip I will be intentional in updating. Later this week I'll give you more of an introduction to Luke and I'll soon tell you more about what we'll be doing and such. I'll also be setting up an e-mail update for those who are specifically interested in supporting our ministry in prayer so please let me know if that's something you'd like to be a part of.

I hope that wherever you are reading this that you are having a beautiful Sunday, a beautiful week leading to Easter, a beautiful year full of His grace, mercy and love. Thank you for reading! More to come.


*Inigo Montoya ~ The Princess Bride

' The Timing My Dear'*

"Ten years ago I responded to letters within a couple of weeks and kept my correspondents happy. Five years ago I faxed a response in a couple of days and they seemed content. Now they want email responses the same day and berate me for not using instant messaging or a mobile phone." - Phillip Yancey, 'Prayer'

I used to be really good about letter writing. When I was in AmeriCorps* five years ago that was how I mostly kept in touch with people. I had an e-mail account but I was adamant about handwritten letters. I remember having an argument with a fellow Corps member about the importance of handwritten letters. My 'conclusive evidence' involved bringing down a shoebox full of correspondence from loved ones at home. I have letters from most phases of my life and it's a happy thing. The last couple of years though, that habit has really dwindled and sputtered.

I've been staring at this screen for too long today. I come to it as if it's a Magic Eight Ball or something. As if I stare long enough it will unlock the key to what my future holds. While I concede that it is a helpful tool, it doesn't work the way this behavior would make it seem.

Yesterday I visited a church nearby. I truly miss my church in Indiana. Rachel Hendricks handed me a bulletin and when I looked at the sermon title it brought a smile to my face. 'Wet Feet Faith'. For anyone unaware, my nickname is 'Feet' so the double sight of my name felt like a 'pay attention. I love you' from my heavenly Father. The sermon was about stepping out in faith to do the seemingly impossible that we're called to.

For myself I wonder lately if that's an intensive Acting school. One of the things that stuck out to me most was how stepping out in faith towards God's call is stepping and doesn't mean you are going to get there tomorrow. Actually I guess there isn't really a 'there' anyway. It's a journey and the call isn't the end. That to say, when I wonder if God is calling me to formal training as an actress I often feel like it has to happen TOMORROW and I get discouraged. It's hard to remember one step at a time.

The pastor was specifically referring to the recent acquisition of a building for their church. They've been meeting as a church for eight years and began the process of looking for a building maybe three years ago. It's been 369 days since they started the offers on their new building which they just closed on. The first step takes an initial decision of this moment in time but there are many steps after that. And God is faithful in each of them. Often they don't lead where we expect or the destination looks much different than we'd thought. But God is faithful. We think in destinations but the destination isn't the point.

The church went through a vocal summary of what has been included in their history as a church family following each paragraph by saying 'He has been faithful' as a congregation. Like a Psalm. I liked that. Rocks of remembrance. I'd like to do that with my own journey. Because He has been. And He is. And I look forward to seeing how He will be.

I could really use your prayers for direction in this waiting time. I'm at the Burrow right now enjoying some time with my family and trying not to go batty not knowing what's next. On Saturday I leave for one of my dearest friends weddings. She's a good letter writer. :smile: That's how we first met actually. She's like my little sister and I'm glad I'll get to spend time with her before her big day. Then it's back home for Christmas. My brother Dev may be making a big move in February (prayers there too please) and so I'm thinking I'd like to be around here for the next couple of months. That's what I've got for now. :smile: I'm praying for clarity in direction, for where to be, for if I should pursue Acting school and if so how and where. Mostly I'm praying for Where. Thanks for reading. Please let me know how I can pray for you too.
I'd say Happy Christmas but hopefully it won't be that long between blogs this time. ;)

*blog title stolen from an Devan/Greg original