Grrrr.

How is it that I can have a list going during the day, the week, of things I need to look up on the net and then it all leaves my head once I'm on the thing? grrrrr.

All Access

Today I had the wonderful blessing of getting to see some of the people from my time with YWAM. I did not have to take the Behemoth because my lovely house mate Julie already was interested in going and so was easily won over with the offer of gas money and coffee. She, Krisztina and I set out early and it was snowing. It looked so lovely and the excitement of seeing old friends mixed with the magic of falling snow made for the start of a feel good morning.

When we got to the school we were looking for the auditorium and I saw a backstage with familiar tour boxes. An actor I didn't know in a costume that I did came out. I asked if she was with All Access and if she could tell me where Kelsey was. She found the entrance to the auditorium and instructed me that Kelsey was the red-head. "I know", I said and ran inside to hug John-O and Kelsey and hear "SHUT-UP!" from the stage because Kelsey hadn't told them I was coming and Heather made her typical exclamations. Hugs from Holly and David, hugs and more "Shut-Up!" from HP (one of the happiest people you will ever meet.), greeting in an Irish accent from Johnny "McFlynn" holding his and Kelsey's new baby Lola (the furry, four legged kind). Holly and David caught up with me a bit before the show started and it was lovely how not weird it was to see them all. We've always noted that at Ameri-Corps reunions, how we just fall back into step. I am so glad that was how this morning was too.

The show was good, Holly was an adorable "New Girl". The girls liked it and the kids had a really good response. This group does really good work and I'm so glad that I got to be a part of it. I'm excited that they still do it and that I got to see them today. Dan's message about making a choice every time we open our mouths to speak words of life or words of death to people never gets old and I've heard it a hundred times.

The show is with Youth With A Mission, Metro NY, All Access. They tour the play No More Victims to schools across the nation. It's a show about valuing each other, about not bullying, about being responsible for the words we speak to one another and how words effect us. All Access takes this production into public high schools and they're sharing the truth of the gospel with these kids. It's really incredible. You can find out more at www.allaccessny.org or www.ywam-ny.com

Please pray for them as they continue to tour these next couple of weeks.

Baby it's Cold Outside

Baby, it's cold outside. Really cold. And they're calling for snow. Part of me thinks that's lovely and the other part that wants to go see some of her YWAMily on Monday because they'll only be half hour away is not thrilled about it. If it's going to happen I suppose I should stick with the lovely part and try to get someone brave in the snow to take me so I don't have to drive the behemoth.

Speaking of, my first drive on my own took place a few weeks ago in the ministry's behemoth. Behemoth is a red 15 passenger van. Driving a 15-P has been destined for me I think. I didn't drive our 15-P in Americorps, nor at New Stage, but now, now I do.

So the driving of the behemoth is one of many new things happening in my life of late. I've been off of all sugars but whole fruit for three weeks now (inspired by my Momma Henry and Mary) and I feel fantastic. My thinking is much clearer and often I'm just so happy. This past week I was able to focus so much more at work and I felt like I got a lot done.

Work focus isn't just from the way I'm eating. Intern training has been really inspiring too and is helping me become more focused not just at the office (I work in an office?!?) but in my work as an actress as well. I feel like I'm growing in all areas of my life and it is so good. I've found a church I like and am part of a good small group there. It's so good to be encouraged to spend more time with God and delve into His word. My week feels different when I skip and I look forward to the next time.

Last night we had live Jazz and a reading of three O. Henry stories in the coffee shop where I write this entry. It went well and we had more people then chairs and had to bring some in from outside. It's a small shop for some perspective. And about half of our audience were CPAF staff. Still it was a good turn out and it was exciting to have it go well. This was my first effort as Community Relations Manager to begin some smaller performances. I think we'll do something like it again in a couple of months.

Time is flying and we can barely believe it's the weekend again. No complaints there though. Thanksgiving will be here before we know what happened and then it'll be almost time to come home for Christmas. Until then, it looks like we're going to have some snow here tonight. Enjoy your weekend all.

Rejoice in the Lord Always

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!"
- Phillipians 4:4

God is so good. Twice in one day this week the need to rejoice in Him always, in good and bad, when we feel like it and don't, was brought to my attention. At that time it was easy, but I recognize that the problems will come, and in fact, some have since then. I pray that I will always and ever have on my lips and in my heart that God is good.

He is good.
He is merciful Father, mighty to save, wonderful Maker, magnificent God, Holy, holy, holy, almighty Saviour, King of Kings, worthy to be praised. He hears His children. We may not feel like it because we often think that 'answered prayer' means prayer answered how we would want. His ways are not our ways. God is so good.

Love my Job

Every other Thursday morning we have intern training here at the CPAF offices. Today I was inspired as Patrick talked to us about goals and biblical goal setting. Annaka and I talked about what we learned over lunch and discussed what our long term goals look like, and what we feel God has put on our hearts.
It's been exciting the past few years to see God focus my goal more and more. Discovering through the book "Addicted to Mediocrity" that He designed me to be an actor and that it was not only okay to follow that passion, but that it was a calling, was a very exciting moment. That was when I was in AmeriCorps four years ago. Since then pursuing acting in ways that will bring God glory has been the focus. God has provided for me again and again and taken me from New York to home to Mississippi to Indiana.
I'm starting to settle in more to my year here at CPAF. We were in church on Sunday and the Sunday School leader asked what our passions were. Realizing that my own personal calls were almost exactly the mission statement of the organization where I work was an awesome realization. I'm gaining valuable on the job skills in arts administration (arts admin. not my goal, but lets face it, it's useful wherever you are in the arts), working with a truly wonderful group of people, connecting with a ministry that will support me in prayer and study resources when I'm in the field, and growing spiritually.
I'm excited to see what happens through this year and I'll try to keep better updated on this blog.

A Very Rich Woman

Binker-what I call him-is a secret of my own,
And Binker is the reason why I never feel alone.
Playing in the nursery, sitting on the stair,
Whatever I am busy at, Binker will be there.

Oh, Daddy is clever, he's a clever sort of man,
And Mummy is the best since the world began,
And Nanny is Nanny, and I call her Nan-

But they can't See Binker. ...

-A.A. Milne

This morning I was out the door earlier than usual because I had a meeting at Grace College. I rode my bike through the campus, my ears cold in the fall air despite the kerchief tied about my head. A lone orange lays on the pavement and I wonder if this campus haunted by Invisible Cows of Doom like Belhaven is. That would explain the orange, though I don't see any left shoes.

Today is Binker and my third anniversary. It's an Easterish sort of anniversary in that it changes every year depending on when the Arts Discover day is scheduled, because that is when we met. I was visiting the campus for the first time and during one of the social whatnots he came and talked to me.
At the time I didn't realize that the conversation was unusual for him. My very introverted friend did not appear so to me then. Since that day however I've learned that he doesn't generally talk to people he doesn't know. Now granted we'd had a Batman connection the day before thanks to Amy who was hosting me then and is now a dear friend too. Still, his out of character action continues to puzzle both of us, though we are happy for it.
If I were at Belhaven today the two of us would find some time in our busy schedules to walk over to the spiral staircase inside the Bitsy Irby Arts building. I would sit on one of the large steps and he would stand behind the railing. We would laugh about the conversation that took place this way three years ago and wonder at the friendship that has come after it.

I got to see him this week, which I'm glad for and can still hardly believe. He, Scott, Nod, Rin and Meg came to see me for fall break. The first four drove 13 hours and Meg came down from Chicago. Have I told you that I'm a very rich woman? It was wonderful to be with such dear friends and I miss them greatly.
~ ~ ~ ~

I get to the building where my meeting is and hop off of my bike. As I sit in the office I see the desk calender and can hardly believe how far we are through October. Where does the time go? This time last week I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my friends and now they've gone. The first two paper square weekends represent two anticipated reunions, both over, both lovely, both which I'm grateful for.

Last night we had fellowship night and went to the Kavanaugh's for a play reading. Before delving into "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead" we watched a CPAF promo video from 1988. As we chuckled over the dated content, the four founding members of CPAF talked about their old friends as they came on the screen.

"Where's Bill now?"
"Oh he's in Florida."
"Is he still in music?"
"I'm not sure. Oh there's Dan! He remarried five years ago."
"John's gone now isn't he?"
"Yes, he died last year."
"Janet's got three little ones."
"Whatever happened to..."

I listen to their reminisces and wonder about the younger generation present in the room. I wonder at our own conversations such as this in years to come. Where will life have taken us? How will we talk about one another? When I listen (my kids listen? Nephews and nieces?) to the recording of "Through the Looking Glass" will I know where each of those people are? Some of them? What will they be doing?
Reading the play last night (I got to play Guildenstern, oh what fun!) I read a description of Autumn sky which is exactly what I've been trying to say for the past three days. I've been calling the color change in the sky a "Thanksgiving sky". But this is so much better;

: Autumnal−nothing to do with leaves. It is to do with a certain brownness at the edges of the day...Brown is creeping up on us, take my word for it... Russets and tangerine shades of old gold flushing the very outside edge of the senses... deep shining ochres, burnt umber and parchments of baked earth−reflecting on itself and through itself, filtering the light. At such times, perhaps, coincidentally, the leaves might fall,somewhere, by repute. Yesterday was blue, like smoke.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I have a lot of wonderful yesterdays and the todays are good too. I look forward to seeing what each of my friends do. They are talented, beautiful, loving people and I am excited to see what art they create, whether it be plays, paintings, or families (Some already are). I smile to think of how my little brothers will grow too. My not so little brothers. I pray that whatever these loved in my life do, they will do it to the glory of God, that their focus will be their relationship with Him. Because that's the most important really. And I'm thankful for the mystery and for the knowledge that whatever comes He has it in His hands.

Counting down to Knapples and Chuckles

It is a busy weekend. Our fourth intern arrived from Romania on Wednesday night. She and I are settling into the other side of the house now. She is a lovely girl and we're so glad to have her finally here. It will be good to have another actress here. This morning she made me breakfast and is disappointed that our American bread is so sweet.

Last weekend I went to Ohio for the 4th AmeriCorps reunion of my team. My former team leader and one of my team mates picked me up and we drove over for a wonderful weekend with our Amerifam. It was so good to see them and I'll write more about that when Mel sends out some of her beautiful pictures from our time.

Keeping with the reunion theme I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my friends from Belhaven. They come in tomorrow and I have that Christmas Eve anticipation where I can't sleep or focus very well. I can hardly believe that I get to see them.

We have our first Second Sunday Concert this weekend so I'm a little anxious about that as I'm in charge of it. I'm sure it will be fine, there's just a lot going on at once so I'm feeling a bit stressed. It's going to be a good weekend though and I'm just praying the stress and anxiety will ease and I'll enjoy every second that my friends are here. It's pretty neat that they'll get to see the concert.

Counting down to knapples and chuckles. Thankfully there's a fun concert tonight that I'm not in charge of and can enjoy with Krisztina. And then I'll drink a double dose of bedtime tea in the hopes of knocking out without "Christmaseveanitcipatinsomnia"